As the tides turn.....

I'd like to ask if you've missed me but suspect there's been so much going on with Remember Me & New Moon releases as well as some shit hot fics updating that actually no-one has really noticed my lack of blog activity.

Note that I don't just say lack of activity, because I have actually been a very busy bee.  If you haven't noticed (and lets face it, how could you fucking miss it?) I've finally started posting my own multi-chaptered fic!  Buoyed by the success of my one shot being a runner up in the Auto Erotica contest, I decided to dig deep with the creativity and see what else I could come up with.  The result is Monsters & Angels and so far there's a Prologue and a full chapter posted.  As you can imagine, the writing is taking up more of my spare time so the blogging is having to take a bit of a back seat.  However!!

I couldn't possibly pass on reccing this fic to you.  I may be a little bit late to the game as it's a well known, highly reviewed, recently completed fic but it absolutely blew me away.  I am of course referring to the awesome Tides by Lambcullen.  Her Edward is so intense and determined to be with Bella, it's mind blowing.  And since we're at it, Catching Spiders is only a couple of chapters in and has already generated hundreds of reviews.  You just know that it's going to be good!!

I've rambled on enough for now, go check out the recs and let me know what you think.  Oh one last thing before I go - if you fancy a cheeky, hot little threesome check out 2 Girls & 1 Emmett by my girl uselessid90, it's amazing :D

I'm so excited, and like an erection, I just can't hide it...

I just had to share my excitement with someone who would understand and who better than my fellow h00rs?  Two very, VERY good things have happened to me today, firstly, my fic juice is well and truly flowing.  Yep, inspiration hit me and hit me fucking hard baby (ungh, yes please!) with the result that I'm pretty certain I've got myself a prologue for a new fic! Want a little pictease for it? 

*slides off seat in a gooey mess* IKR? Phew!  Got a little bit of work to do but it should be up soon *grins like an idiot*

My other excitement comes courtesy of my FFBFF @donna_rai who's only gone and hooked me up with a writer who's looking for a beta!! Fuck me sideways, I was gobsmacked by her rec!  What, really, moi?? *blushes* I'm totally fucking blown away by this, and only hope I can do it some justice and that the writer likes me...watch this space!!

Sorry to say that with all this excitement and some background work for the potential beta gig, I've no rec tonight.  But I did give you some ab p0rn so don't hate me too much ;-)

Not One, Not Two, But A FuckTon Of Recs...

It's been a while huh? Not much I can say about that. I've been doing a lot of reading and while the fics I've read have been good, I can honestly say I've not found anything great. 
After experiencing complete and utter fucking heartfail waiting for the final couple of chapters of HunterHunting's Clipped Wings & Inked Armor (if you haven't read this I'm going to say 2 things - WHY THE FUCK NOT??? and GO, READ IT, NOW!!!), I decided I was going to approach my next multi-chaptered fic reading exploits in a slightly different way - I wasn't reading it unless it was complete!
Now if you've read my previous posts or you follow me on twitter you'll know that my 'to be read' list is pretty fucking extensive, you'd think this would make the choosing of fics easy - apparently fucking not!  I was looking for something to get my teeth into, but not something so epically long that it took over my life for weeks on end (yeah did I mention when I get engrossed in a fic, I get REALLY fucking engrossed?)
Imagine my delight when I decided on Stay by CrimsonMarie. At 37 chapters plus an epilogue, it's no quick read but it's so well written and the characters are fantastic.  It was one of those fics where I promised myself 'just one more chapter' everytime I was reading it.
It may not be choc-full of smut like some of my favourites and previous recs but the thing to remember with this is the fantastic plotline and characters, the sexy times are just an added bonus - and bloody well written into the bargain.
Now since I'm here and I have your attention, it's worth noting that there are a couple of contests going on just now.  In a shameless act of self pimpage I'd first like to recommend you have a gander at the Twific Auto Erotica Oneshot Challenge, where I just *may* have entered my first ever fic, go, read, vote (and not necessarily for me, although that would be nice!). Voting is currently open but closes SOON.
Another contest worth noting is the Devirginizing Edward contest, voting has just closed but winners are still to be announced and there are some great entries (I voted for my favourite so fingers crossed!)
Final rec for today goes to the AwkWard Contest which is currently accepting submissions until March 17th - I love the idea behind this contest and can't wait to read some of the entries.
So there you have it, I may not have been here for fucking ages but surely I've more than made up for it with all these recs? No? Humph, just can't please anyone these days... enjoy! Read, review & vote :D

Living vicariously through others...

I'm sure there's a little bit of the voyeur in all of us. Some more so than others! But imagine if you could not only observe but also hear the thoughts of those you are observing - gah, fucking hot right? And so we have Voyeurward as brought to us by EchoesOfTwilight in Innocence Is Dripping Red. Initially a one-shot, it's being extended as part of the Fandom Gives Back auction where 8 people bought chapters! There are 3 chapters posted already, plus a little sideshot which is really hot and worth checking out too.
Now I've not read much in the way of vamp fan fiction but I LOVE this Edward - and Bella is pretty awesome too. I'll leave you with a little quote which sums up the fuckhawtness:
 "Dropping my head so my lips grazed her ear, I began to whisper. “I want to suck and lick over every inch of your body. I want to growl against your clit and hear you scream my name again. I want to feel my cock hitting the back of your throat and to taste your juices on my tongue. Most of all, Bella, I want to fuck you until your body knows nothing but my touch, your mouth knows nothing but my taste and your fucking amazing, hot, tight pussy knows nothing but my cock.”"
Umm, if he ever gets tired of Bella, imma be here waiting! Just saying *thud*

Cumming to America...

We can't always have hour upon endless hour of fantastically fuckhawt foreplay, sometimes a quickie just has to do.  But I digress with my sex analogies.  What I mean to say is, I've not got time this evening for a long winded blog of the merits of my latest recommendation.  It REALLY doesn't need it!  So for quickies everywhere I recommend to you the work in progress that is Daniel Gale: Cumming To America by danielgaleh00rs. It is awesome, it's hilarious and Daniel is a horny, horny boy.  If you needed any further persuading, check out @danielgale on twitter - GENIUS!

Have a threesome for your patience......

I'm sorry, I'm sorry!! I know it's been a while since I posted but there have been a couple of reasons - I've been MEGA busy with work and real life being a bitch; I'm not getting to read as much as I'd like to so I've been concentrating on the big ones as they've been updating and, lastly, I've not really read anything new that I've found worthy of recommendation.  Woah, yeah I really did just drop that fucking bombshell!!

Now that isn't to say that Twific has been crap, it's just I've had to wade through a lot of tripe (that *may* be a good old Scottish word!?!) trying to find something worthy of the rec.  I should also point out that I've been intentionally avoiding those with hundreds of reviews and trying to find something a little less known in the fandom.  That, my friends, is why it has taken me so long.

And fuck me if you guys aren't all over this shit! You certainly know a fucking good fic when you see it, and usually within the blink of an eye too haha.  So fuck it, I've decided I don't care if something has got hundreds and thousands of reviews, if I like it, I'm just gonna go ahead and rec it anyway.

Since you've been so patient with me and to make up for the delay, I'm gonna give it to you three times tonight ;-) 

First up we've got Purgatory: A Love Story by americanxidiot.  It's only eight chapters in but we all know how good a writer americanxidiot is and honestly, I could have rec'd this after the first chapter.  Fuck, I coulda rec'd this when I got the author alert cos I just know it was gonna be fucking awesome!  I love the idea behind this and can't wait to see how things evolve both with Bella and Edward and the story itself.  It's not your usual straightforward boy meets girl and they live happily ever after (eventually) kind of story either, there's some serious motherfucking plot going on here.  Just take my word for it and go read it, you won't regret it!

Secondly, I've got another one that is still in it's infancy - 4 chapters so far - but it is garnering reviews like you wouldn't believe.  Don't You Wanna Take A Ride With Me by stephk0525 features Professor Spin God as the sexy spin instructor who has Bella going weak at the knees, and not just with his workouts.  I go to spin classes 3 or 4 times a week and I know how fit these instructors are so the thought of Edward as one of them is just too fucking hot for words.  In fact, if he's looking to do a few more classes, I'm sure my gym could accommodate him...em what was I saying? Ah yes, *clears throat*.  So Bella doesn't want to just jump into having sex with Edward which has stephk0525 doing a little bit of the old cockblocking but it's still hot, hot, hot - watch out for the sauna, that's all I'm saying ;-)

Go. Read. Review.  And while you're at it, check out my own little first attempt which I wrote for the Twific Auto Erotica Oneshot Challenge, I've only had 2 reviews so far and would love to know what you think...

Every girl wants a fuckhawt boy to fuck her in her Chucks

Before I start I should say I was a bit stuck for a fic rec last night, mainly because I'd spent all evening reading a completed multi-chap fic only to be completely disappointed with the "ending".  Honestly, it was as if the author had thought to themselves "fuck this, I've written enough, where is that 'complete' button" about midway through.  Anyway not going back there, it put me in such a foul mood - gah!!!!

Onto happier things and boy do I have a fic rec for you tonight!  It's a little oneshot with serious potential for expansion - oh yes, PLEASE...

I digress.  Told from Bella's POV, the way she describes Edward is enough to have you looking for clean knickers.  I'm.Not.Joking.  Now y'all know I loves me Tattward but phew this is Tattward and then some! From the sagging jeans to the hair.  From the piercings to the ice cream.  From the piano to the tattoos...WOAH *fans self* Poor boy doesn't stand a chance as TLIG has written a flirty little minx of a Bella too.

Now it's a One-shot at the moment so I'm not going to ruin anything trying to pull out quotes of the best bits, it's all the best bits. Let's just say that, along with an excellent storyline, there's fuckhawtness.  I'm telling you go and read it, like NOW, and find out for yourself!  Vanilla and Chrome by theladyingrey42

Oh and TLIG if you happen to be reading, I'm not ashamed to beg......

What happens in vegas....

...is fuckhawt it seems.  Well it is if phoenixhunter47's Green Eyes is anything to go by!!  It's been a while since I've read a lemon as fuckawesomely hawt as that.  Now I know I don't normally go quoting bits of fics for you but let me just demonstrate one little pantydropping hawtness section;

'“Do you want me to fuck you?” His eyes still held mine.

I nodded.

“Say it. Tell me you want it, want me.” He dipped the tip of his cock inside me, enough to tease, before pulling back out again.

I groaned. “I need you to fuck me. I need to feel you inside me.” I stared straight into his green eyes, darkened by his lust and hunger.'

oh my motherfucking life!!!
 
I know (and no doubt you do by now too) that I'm just a pervy little h00r but, it's not just the fucking stupendous lemony goodness that has me reccing this fic to you this evening.  Oh no, this is way beyond that...it may only be a one shot at the moment (oh please phoenixhunter47 to be expanding on this?) but there's a story within it that stands on it's own and doesn't need to be expanded upon.  And there's a twist too.  In fact there's a twist-retwist going on - a holymotherofgodmyheartjuststopped kind of twist.
 
Read it!  You will NOT be disappointed!!!

Embrace your inner geek

I didn't blog last night because I was so engrossed in Geek Love by SassenachWench.  This is a recently completed multi chaptered fic and the characters, certainly in the beginning chapters before things get a little more serious, are haifuckinlarious!  It reminds me a little of the humour from The Big Bang Theory but it's computer geek instead of science geek.  Hey, I suppose if you're not a geek, it's all just gobbledegeek to you, eh? (I said gobble! *snorts*)
Now, as has become my want, I was reading this fic in bed last night on my laptop.  Well poor old hubs wasn't getting any peace to read his book (nothing unusual there ;-) *snicker*).  If I wasn't guffawing out loud, I was giggling away to myself, inbetween "let me just read you this bit, it's hilarious" comments. 
I've got a couple of chapters to go and things have gotten a tad more serious but I'm absolutely glued and that's all your getting tonight because I want to go finish it!!
Go! Read it - Geekward & Geekella beg of you...

How to organise all your fics???

Something you should know about me is I have a really SHOCKINGLY BAD memory.  How bad?  Well let's just say that I've managed to read an entire book before and not remember I've read it already - until I read the last chapter and go 'oh fuck yeah, I remember that now'.  You so know that means there's fics I've read more than once right?  Not such a bad thing if it's a one-shot but a complete fucking pain in the arse of a waste of time if it's a multi-chapter fic!

Now, considering I've not been around the fandom that long, I seem to have acquired a shit load of fics in my favourites list but, and here's the thing, I've not even read some of them yet.  Yes, I have been guilty of adding a fic into my favourites in the absence of FFn having a 'still to read' option.  Maybe it's worse because of the whole lack of memory thing but that shit's just downright unworkable to me!

What's a h00r to do?  I let my little inner geek come out to play and started myself up a lil old spreadsheet, that's what.  Still a work in progress but I ran through all my favourites and highlighted the ones that were *actual* fuckawesome favourites so I can clearly see the ones I've not even read yet.  Simples, no?

Oh yeah and, because of that, I've discovered a fic that I added AAAAAGES ago and hadn't started.  This means my fic rec for tonight is being made based on no more than I added it to my to be read list and I'm gonna read it tonight - or at least make a start anyway!  Tonight's rec therefore is No Place Like Home by Telling Me Lies - enjoy!!

Thank fuck this blog is written down or I'd be reccing you the same fics all the motherfuckin time!!  And if anyone has any awesome ways of organising their fics, please, please get in touch!

Always...

here's a quick one-shot recommendation for you guys Semper Fidelis by ilsuocantante it's got everything you could possibly hope for in a nice little package - fuckhawt lemon, enough background to set the scene without dragging it out and a lovely ending - oh and we get a little glimpse of Domward too UNNNGFF

Did I mention Domward? and a fuckhawt lemon???

Enjoy!

First Foots and First Firsts

Yeah so I'm a big believer in "start the year as you mean to go on" but I really don't know if even that covers things today!  I took down my Crimbo deccies cos they'd been fucking me off since about Crimbo Eve or something - then decided that hubs hadn't had nearly enough attention this year so tempted him into a  little bit of fuckawesomemidafternoonhothotlovin. Well. Fuck. Me. Gently.  2010 is gonna be a happy year if lazy afternoons continue like THAT!!

It's kinda spoiled me for a fic tonite tho, ain't no way I'm gonna find a lemon to rival the real life fuckfest today.  Smugs??  Hellsyeah!  Means I've no rec for a fic tho, let me know yours instead!!

As for the first footing - turns out hubs was our own first foot this year, we've had no visitors since getting back from our Hogmanay party in Glasgow.  Just as well, they'da got more than an eyeful!!

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